Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Mem'ries, Like the Corners of my Mind....

LuLu came to live with us when she was a year old. It took her a few days to get used to us, but she is my best friend now. She is real happy living with me, My MaMaFigure and That Man. She is real clever too, and thinks up all kinds of games for us to play.
But sometimes, LuLu gets what My MaMaFigure calls "a moment of melancholia". That means she gets real sad. It only happens when My MaMaFigure plays the piano. When My MaMaFigure sits down to play, LuLu climbs on the back of the chair behind the piano and lays over the edge. It doesn't matter what My MaMaFigure plays..... Turkey in the Straw, The Blue Danube, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing....LuLu climbs to the top of the chair and slumps over the back. When the song is over LuLu raises her head and looks at My MaMaFigure. That Man always says "Play it again Sam" and My MaMaFigure launches into Hark the Herald Angels Sing or This Land is Your Land or Beethoven's Ode to Joy and LuLu falls over the chair again. That Man says LuLu looks like she needs a cigarette. When My MaMaFigure gets up from the piano, LuLu is ready to play Blob Boys, New Squirrel or Chase with me again.
The picture above was taken when LuLu was listening to My MaMaFigure play the Theme from the Flintstones. My MaMaFigure says LuLu is a woman with a past.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Me and LuLu are wondering what is going on with My MamaFigure. She has taken away the scary scarecrows and put trees in our house! I am happy that the scarecrows are gone, because I didn't like the way their eyes followed me around the room, but me and LuLu can't figure out why we have trees in our house. Here is a picture of me standing in front of the one in the library. Me and LuLu helped My MaMaFigure with it. While she was putting all those shiny things on it, I was chewing on a low limb and found a string and pulled on it. You can see it by my ear in the picture. I think it makes the tree look real good.






When all the shiny things were on the tree, My MaMaFigure put a piece of cloth underneath it. Me and LuLu commenced to playing on it. We wadded it up and rolled on it and chewed it, so My MaMaFigure folded it up and put it away.


Here is picture of LuLu under the tree in the living room. We like this tree the best because My MaMaFigure has all kinds of birds on it!!! They are the same kind of birds that eat at the birdfeeder outside. Me and LuLu like to bark at them when we are on the Big Porch. The birds on the tree don't chirp or fight over food! They don't even fly away when we bark at them!!!













One day I was walking beside the tree minding my own business and a bird just fell off in the floor in front of me! I was chewing on it when That Man walked in the room. I got in a little bit of trouble.
My MaMaFigure picked these out for me and LuLu. She says they are stockings and one morning we will wake up to find presents in them. I hope I get a new toy in my stocking. One that will get along good with New Squirrel, Dirty Bear, Skunky and the Blob Boys. LuLu wants a CD player and a Jimmy Hendrix CD.

I like my stocking! It says "I don't have to be Good...I'm Cute." I really am. LuLu says her stocking is pretty, but she says she prefers a more classical stocking shape and she feels the pink and black color combination is a bit pretentious for her taste. I hope she will let me chew the shiny ball off the toe.
 
 
 
 
Here is a picture of The Grandboy and The Grandgirl!! YAAAAY!! They are two of my most favorite people!! They always decorate a tree in My MaMaFigure's bedroom. It has lots of stuff on it that their Daddy made when he was a little boy and stuff they made for My MaMaFigure and That Man.












 
They are going to spend the night soon and make cookies with My MaMaFigure and That Man. Me and LuLu are real excited about cookie night because My MaMaFigure is messy in the kitchen and drops food on the floor when she cooks. LuLu thought of a plan. She says she will nonchalantly hang out in the laundry room beside the kitchen and alert me when My MaMaFigure drops something. I am to pretend I am taking a nap in the library on the other side of the house.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Night We'll Never Forget, if it Really Happened

Three weeks ago My MaMaFigure dressed me and LuLu in these clothes. She had to drag LuLu out from under the dining room table to put hers on. Then we spent the evening out on the Big Porch, dressed in our clothes, and me and LuLu still don't know why our MaMaFigure made us wear them! LuLu said the whole evening was 'surreal', but I say it was almost like it didn't happen, but it did!




Then LuLu noticed that her clothes had wings and she got real excited! LuLu has always wanted to fly and she said she was going to jump off the chair and get some 'sweet air'. So she kept jumping and jumping, but she couldn't make her wings flap. Here is a picture of LuLu, ready for another take-off.









Then I noticed that my clothes had antennas. I got real excited because I want to talk to space pugs. I kept shaking my head back and forth, but I couldn't make them work. Here is a picture of me. LuLu even adjusted one of the antenna for me, so I could pick up a signal. But I never did.


While LuLu was trying to get some sweet air and I was trying to arrange a close encounter, My MaMaFigure and That Man gave candy to SpongeBob Squarepants, a skeleton, a softball player, a hippie girl, and lots of other strange things. Me and LuLu didn't know where they were coming from!
A cow was the last one to get candy and by that time we knew that we weren't going to fly or talk to space pugs. The foofy part of LuLu's dress was torn and dragging behind her and My MaMaFigure had to put one of the yellow balls back on my antenna. LuLu said My MaMaFigure had been flim-flammed into buying defective clothes. We kinda felt sorry for her, since she got flim-flammed and all, so we didn't say anything, but you can see our disappointment in the picture. LuLu looked like a mess, with her torn dress and her little star bonnet was all bent. Even though my antenna didn't work and I didn't get to talk to a space pug, I still think I look pretty good.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Thursday, November 12, 2009

APB on LuLu!!!

This afternoon LuLu went missing and we couldn't find her anywhere! My MamaFigure and That Man and I looked all over the house for her. We could hear her whimpering, but it sounded like she was trapped in the wall! Like she had entered a portal to another dimension, a place where we could hear her, but we couldn't see her anywhere! Wow! I can't believe I just wrote that!!! I don't even know what it means!! All of us were running around the house looking for her. That Man looked everywhere, even outside. My MamaFigure looked in closets and the cabinets, and I was barking and running around the house with them. My MamaFigure would call "LuLu! LuLu!" and we would hear LuLu whimpering again! I didn't think this was fun and exciting at all. I thought it was scary and dangerous! Then I remembered a story I heard about a dog named Lassie and I knew what we needed was a hero, so I thought "what did Lassie do when Little Timmy fell down the well?" So, the next time LuLu whimpered I listened very carefully, just like Lassie would. My MaMaFigure and That Man were running around everywhere, but I followed LuLu's whimpering and I found her!!! She was trapped behind the Woolite for Darks laundry soap and Clorox bleach in the laundry room!!!
My MaMaFigure had picked up the soap to use it and while she was pouring it LuLu had walked under the shelves and when My MaMaFigure put the bottle back down she didn't see LuLu!!
Here is a picture of LuLu trapped behind the Woolite for Darks bottle! It is an instant replay, because just as soon as I found her My MaMaFigure picked her up and hugged her. That Man said LuLu almost caused him to have a heart attack! And here is a picture of the Woolite for Darks bottle. You can see how big and intimidating it is compared to LuLu.
Here is a picture of me and LuLu taken after I rescued her. She was all like "thank you Bean (she doesn't call me Mister)" and I was all like "that's okay kid". I think heroes should always be humble.
I think it would be fun and exciting to have my own TV show, just like Lassie. My MaMaFigure has been whistling the Lassie song for me and I'm practicing sitting still and looking into the camera and holding one of my front paws up, like Lassie did and I think I look pretty good.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Saturday, October 17, 2009

We're Off Again!!!

Today My MamaFigure says to me "Mister Bean! You have been a slacker this summer! You need to do some blogging so people will know what you've been doing!" Well, me and LuLu have been playing on the Big Porch and swinging on the swing with My MaMaFigure, and That Man takes us out every day for a walk. We have been real busy today getting ready to go on our Annual Fall Break Camping Trip. Me and LuLu have never been on the Fall Break Camping Trip, but we like camping, so we know it will be fun and exciting! Our MamaFigure gave us a bath, she says a clean dog is a happy dog. LuLu just rolls her eyes behind our MamaFigure's back and runs to hide under the table. I go right to the bathtub. I like baths!! Here is a picture of us after our bath. LuLu thinks she is getting a little porky since she 'got fixed', so she didn't want to look directly in the camera. My eyes turned blue in the picture and My MaMaFigure fixed one of them with the edit thingie, but the other one wouldn't fix. I think I look waaaay cool, like a space alien pirate pug!! We always take toys with us when we go camping and this time we are taking Tug-of-War Rope, Skunky and the Blob Boys with us. I hope the Blob Boys stay out of trouble!! Sometimes they like to run off and hide! And you don't find them until you take the cushion off the chair and there they are, smiling up at you. I hope they don't run off while we are camping. Sometimes My MaMaFigure and That Man says to me "Mister Bean! Squeak the squeaker!"and I run through the house to find one of the Blob Boys, because their squeaker is easy to squeak! I will be back next week to let you know more about our fun and exciting Fall Break Camping Trip and if the Blob Boys made it back home! Thank you for reading my blog. Sincerely, Mister Bean

Sunday, August 2, 2009

This Week Will Be Fun and Exciting!

Me and LuLu had to spend the afternoon in The Hole today while My MamaFigure and That Man went to buy a whole lot of food for our Annual Back-to-School Camping Trip. We are going to take The Grandboy and The Grandgirl camping so we can play before they go back to school. I am going to wear my muscle shirt when we go for walks in the campground. I think it makes me look real tough, like I'm the leader of a pug gang. Here is a picture of me in my muscle shirt. Here is another picture of me looking tough, yet cute. My muscle shirt even has a pocket on it! That Man says it's to carry my smokes. I think all the other camping dogs will be respecting me when they see me in my muscle shirt. (That is not a fat roll around my neck. It's just the light.) LuLu is going to wear her new green and pink flamingo dress. It even has her name on it. LuLu hid under the table when My MamaFigure tried to put it on her! She doesn't like to wear clothes or take baths. Here is a picture of LuLu in her new dress. She is all like this is too frilly, it's too poofy, it makes my butt look too big. We think LuLu looks real pretty, but she says she can't be bothered. She says she wants a black motorcycle jacket. We are looking forward to the Annual Back-to-School Camping Trip. I will have pictures and and will tell you all about our adventures next week. We know the trip will be fun and exciting!! Thank you for reading my blog. Sincerely, Mister Bean

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Aunt JuJu's Baby and Pug Prison

There have been lots of fun and exciting things happening here at Casa de Beano!! First, and best, my Aunt JuJu and Uncle Fred finally had a baby. She is a little girl and this is a picture of her with my MamaFigure. Me and LuLu haven't actually seen her yet. We shed and bark.
Camping is one of the best things me and LuLu like to do. We get to spend lots of time with the four people we love most, our MamaFigure, That Man, the Grandgirl and the Grandboy. But, we have to be hooked up to a leash because of The Law. My MamaFigure says if it wasn't for The Law, all the dogs in the campground would get together and it would be the dog version of Woodstock. But, she and That Man felt sorry for us being on a leash all the time we were outside, so they found this pet fence on the internet and ordered it for me and LuLu. It came yesterday. Me and LuLu call it Pug Prison behind my MamaFigure's back. Here is a picture of me looking at it. Notice I am OUTSIDE looking at it. My MamaFigure is INSIDE Pug Prison trying to get me and LuLu to come inside. LuLu ran around and around the outside of it really fast! She was smokin' fast!!! My MamaFigure was all like, "Come on in Mister Bean! It's fun in here!" But, it didn't look like all that much fun to me.
She tried hard to get me to come inside, but I wouldn't. "Come on inside, little buddy! You'll like it in here!" She used her sweet voice, but I didn't just fall off the puppy truck yesterday. I wouldn't get inside and LuLu kept running around and around the outside of it really, really fast. It got late, the sun went down, and we had to go in to bed and leave Pug Prison on the porch. I had the best dream that someone stole Pug Prison off the porch while we were sleeping.
SUNDAY--- The Grandboy and The Grandgirl came to see us today. Yaaaaaay!!! They ate applesauce and asked me if I wanted to lick the bowls. YAAAAY!!! Before I realized what happened to me, I was inside Pug Prison! LuLu stopped circling, because she wanted to play with the empty applesauce bowl. So, she stepped in too!!
The next thing I know my MamaFigure is closing the door to Pug Prison. There is nothing like the sound of two metal doors banging shut. My MamaFigure says it is just perfect for camping and we will try it out next week when we go for our Annual Back-to-School Camping Trip.
LuLu likes it. She says she is going to run around the inside of Pug Prison until she makes a path. I am going to dig a tunnel and escape.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I'm Back and We Went Camping Last Week!

Hi everybody!! Mister Bean here with my Comeback Blog!! I am finally over the trauma of 'getting fixed'. Here's a big Bark-Out to Red Bank Animal Hospital for saving my life!!
LuLu and I have had a fun and exciting summer. LuLu went on her first camping trip last week. She has really changed a lot since she 'got fixed'. She thinks she can fly and she likes to dumpster dive in the bathroom garbage. And she wants to play all the time now!! I like LuLu!! All my toys run away, but LuLu is always there for me to play with. But, I still don't think my MamaFigure needs to pet her or show her any affection or anything like that, so everytime I see her close to my MamaFigure I head-butt LuLu and she flies off to the other side of the room. Here is a picture of me sitting at the camper with That Man. See my crate? Me and LuLu had to stay in it sometimes during the day, but we got to sleep with The Grandgirl and My MaMaFigure at night.
We found out something else about LuLu when we went camping. She acts ghetto when she is around other dogs. There are a lot of dogs at the campground, walking around with their people and LuLu wants to fight them all. A black pug came to visit with us. She and I sniffed butts and became friends, but LuLu snarled and growled and was all like "this is my campsite, you're breathing my air". She would even bark at them from inside the camper! Here is a picture of me, wishing LuLu would stop acting ghetto, while she barks at innocent dogs walking by our campsite. Here is a picture of The Grandboy. He is one of my bestest pals in the whole world and I love him. He found a big leaf. LuLu is in the background, sniffing. The campground is full of strange dog smells and we can't hardly concentrate on making a pee or a poop for smelling all those smells.
Here is a picture of The Grandgirl. I love her too, she is another one of my bestest pals in the whole world. LuLu is having a Zen Moment, when she is all at peace with the world. It didn't last very long. As soon as the next dog passed our camper, she became Ghetto Pug again.
We had a real good time, and I hope That Man and our MamaFigure take us camping again real soon.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Sunday, May 17, 2009

This is Not a Fun and Exciting Blog!

All I have heard for the past 4 weeks is "it's time to have them fixed", "it's time to have them fixed". Me and LuLu didn't know what they were talking about and we didn't care. We were busy riding the porch swing and walking out in the yard and barking at birds at the birdfeeder. Finally, the day came. Last Thursday morning, My MaMaFigure and That Man put us in our car boxes and My MaMaFigure drove us to a place called Wally's Friends to have us "fixed". LuLu barked and barked and made freakish noises the whole way down there and she made me bark too! When we got there My MaMaFigure called That Man and told him it had been a nightmarish ride. She told us she would be back to get us Friday morning. She didn't look very happy. Sure enough, she was back again Friday morning to get us!! I was so happy to see her I jumped into her arms and peed all over her. She said she didn't even care! The Doctor Who Fixed Us was right behind the woman who was carrying me to My MaMaFigure and he was carrying LuLu. Everybody in the room said, "Aw, two of them! They are so cute!" My MaMaFigure and the Doctor Who Fixed Us carried us to the car and put us in our car boxes. This time, LuLu was very quiet. But, I barked and barked and barked and barked and barked and barked all the way home. LuLu stayed in her house all day and was really, really quiet. I wanted to be with My MaMaFigure and The Grandboy out on the porch. I felt pretty good, until..... The next morning. I couldn't hardly sit on my bottom and I was hurting so bad I was trembling and shaking. Meanwhile, LuLu was running around all over the place like nothing had ever happened! Like she had never been fixed! My MaMaFigure and That Man were amazed! She hadn't been like this since she came to live with us! But I was miserable. The Grandgirl and The Grandboy spent the night with us Saturday night. I didn't even feel like playing with them. I just crawled into my house and lay there, trembling. I woke My MaMaFigure up at 2:30 Sunday morning. I was hurting so bad. I was shaking. She held me and rocked me in her rocking chair and asked That Man if he thought some Benedryl would help me settle down. He said he didn't think it would hurt me, so My MaMaFigure gave me some Benedryl and she prayed that I would get better and stop hurting because she cannot stand for anything to suffer. They were real worried about me and she rocked me for a long time and finally I stopped trembling so much and we went back to bed. I slept for a little while and when I woke up the next morning I didn't hurt at first, but pretty soon I started hurting again and That Man told My MaMaFigure to call the Doctor Who Fixed Us and get me some medicine to make me stop hurting. In the meantime, LuLu was running around like a New Woman. She finally wanted to play Blobs and New Squirrel and Pink Flamingo and Tug of War and games I had never even heard of! I just laid there on my pillow, trembling. My MaMaFigure even had to squirt water in my mouth because I wouldn't drink anything! The Doctor Who Fixed Us called and told My MamaFigure to come and get some medicine for me. She did and I took it and pretty soon I sat up without my bottom hurting and I crawled out of my house and drank some water on my own! I got petted a whole lot by That Man and My MaMaFigure and LuLu was happy too! My MamaFigure took a picture of LuLu in her new pink harness and without duct tape diapers! She looks real pretty! And she won't ever have to deal with the "inheat" thing again. I think that makes her real happy! When My MaMaFigure was researching getting "fixed" everybody told her it would be easy for me to get over and hard for LuLu to get over. That is so not true!!! You can see from the picture below that I could not sit on my bottom. My MaMaFigure even brought my favorite cushion in from the porch for me to sit on, but I couldn't sit because my bottom hurt. And I couldn't lay down because I couldn't stand to put my back legs together. And I couldn't walk because where "they" used to be hurt so bad when I moved my legs. I was in a mess!! So, if anybody ever tells you that a boy dog will be fine after he's fixed, you tell them that Mister Bean says "You're nuts!"
Here is a picture of The Grandgirl and The Grandboy in a tree at their house. They love me and LuLu and help That Man and My MaMaFigure take care of us when they are at our house.
Thank you for reading my blog. This one was not fun and exciting.
Mister Bean
P.S. Happy Birthday to That Man!! I woof you!!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Meet my Peeps!

Meet my new peeps!!

At first, I thought My MaMaFigure had bought me and LuLu a box of awesome chew toys, but she said they were Rhode Island Reds and someday they would make scrambled eggs for us.

They moved in Friday night and stayed in our little bathroom for two nights. That Man put them in a plastic tote and hung a light over it so they would stay warm.

Their names are, from left to right, Alan, Wayne, Merrill, Jay, Donny, Marie, Jimmy and Tito. Tito is the best scratcher.

When he scratches it is like he is
doing the cha-cha and the other peeps
 just move out of the way! Peep food is
flying everywhere !

Me and Sister LuLu really like watching them. The bathroom is really little and we had to squeeze in between The Grandboy and The Grandgirl. Finally, The Grandboy had to stand in the bathtub because I was squishing him. I was barking the whole time we were in there, and I was proud because it sounded so loud, like I was a professional barking dog! I like barking in the bathroom!

LuLu just stared at the Peeps, like she was in a trance or something! By Sunday afternoon the Peeps had grown and were wanting to fly out of the tote.

They poop all over the tote and most
of the time they just stand under the light.
 They don't seem to be interested in
playing with us or our New Blobs or Pink Flamingo.
 They just stand under the light until Tito starts scratching.
 That Peep has some moves!

Here is a picture of The Grandboy and The Grandgirl with Merrill and Jay, the twin Peeps.
And now for the Sister LuLu Report. She is still wearing her duct tape diapers all over the place. My MaMaFigure says poor LuLu hasn't had a chance since she got here because she has been dealing with the "inheat" thing.

 But, she is happy and has even been playing Blobs and New Squirrel with me. Sometimes she gets mad at me when I try to bite her and paw at her and jump on her and bark at her and chase her. She growls at me like I am annoying, but I don't let any negative vibes spoil my day! I just keep on biting and pawing and jumping and barking and chasing!
Thanks to everyone who voted for me in the blog contest. I didn't win, but that's okay! My MaMaFigure said we could have used the prize money to pay for my vasectomy, whatever that is.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerly, Mister Bean

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

New Treats, LuLu's Diaper and Robbers!!

There is a lot going on here at Casa de Beano. (Sister LuLu wants to call our home Chez LuLu. More about that later.) Anyway, fun and exciting things are happening here! We have been getting a new treat! We still get chewy treats (my favorite) for our daytime pees and poops, but when we come in from our darktime pee and poop My MaMaFigure says to us "Do ya'll want a cookie?" and I am all over it like ugly on an ape. Sister LuLu just looks up and smiles with her underbite teeth showing. Here are pictures of us about to get our darktime pee and poop treat.
I go totally nuts.
Sister LuLu is still 'inheat' and she wears a diaper all day, except for when we go out to pee. It has to be taped on with duct tape after 3 or 4 pee-pees. It doesn't look very good on her after that. My MaMaFigure says she will have to stop and get more diapers on her way home from her work. I hope she gets me some sunglasses. Sister LuLu stinks a little bit, well, actually she stinks a lot. My MaMaFigure and That Man say they will be glad when the 'inheat' goes away. So will I. She still won't play New Blobs or Pink Flamingo or New Squirrel with me.
I wrote a poem about her. Here it is.
LuLu's Diaper
by Mister Bean
Dear Little LuLu, stinky sister of mine,
when your diaper stops sticking duct tape works fine.
The End
There have been a lot of shady-looking dogs hanging around our house for the past few days. The Grandgirl and The Grandboy came to visit us after school yesterday and when the Grandgirl was walking Sister LuLu a beagle was standing in the driveway. We don't know him. And later, he was back with a Chihuahua. We don't know him either. And a curly-haired dog was standing under the bedroom window last night when we went to bed. We've never seen him before! I think I know why all these dogs are hanging around our house.
They want to rob us.
They found out about our new treats and our New Blobs. I hope That Man has some kind of plan to protect us because when the you-know-what hits the fan, I'm hiding under the bed.
Here is a picture of Sister LuLu. She'll never get a boyfriend if she doesn't stop wearing duct-tape diapers and start fixing herself up a little bit. She barks real funny too. My MaMaFigure says if Sister LuLu could talk she would say "Hey doll, here's a five, will you run to the Golden Gallon and get a pack of unfiltered Camels for me?"
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Monday, April 20, 2009

Vote for me, Mister Bean!!!!

Something fun and exciting has happened at Casa de Beano! My blog has been nominated as Best Peg Blog at blognetawards.net Vote for me, Mister Bean!!! I can't give you a stimulus package if I win, because My MaMaFigure and That Man are saving up to have me "fixed". I don't know what "fixed" means. I would rather have sunglasses to wear with my new T-shirt. I'm wearing it in the picture. It says stuff like Supa Star, Woof Woof, and Dogz Rule. I promise if I win I will be the Best Pet Blogger forever. I will tell you about how me and my sister like to watch the toilet flush together and about the haunted doghouse behind the lawnmower shed. My MaMaFigure says if you want to vote for me go to blognetawards.com and you will see the name of my blog in a list on the right. It is almost at the bottom. Oh, she almost forgot...you have to register first. Then you can find my name on the list. Then click on my blog name and you should see a real nice description of my blog. Thank you for saying nice things about it!!! At the bottom of the description you will see 10 stars. If you like my blog a lot, then click on the last star on the right! Awesome!! You can leave a comment too! By the way, your last day to vote is April 30th. Thank you for voting me me, Mister Bean!!!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Shazam! I have a sister!!

Yesterday morning My MaMaFigure said 'We're going on a special bye-bye Mister Bean!" I was ready for another fun and exciting weekend with My MaMaFigure and That Man. My MaMaFigure said we were going to get me a sister. What is a sister? We had to drive a long ways to a place called Chickamauga Battlefield. I pooped when I got there and MyMaMaFigure felt real bad about it too, and so did That Man. I couldnt' help it. Well, in a few minutes a pug almost like me got out of a car and My MaMaFigure said, "There's your sister, Mister Bean!" She is real small. Smaller than me, even. We sniffed each other and after a little while she got in the truck with us. My MaMaFigure sat in the back seat with us and my sister growled at me and I climbed My MaMaFigure like she was a tree and sat on the back of the seat. I was scared.
Here is a picture of me with my sister. She has a green stuffed bear. And she snores. She eats a lot too. And she has lots of teeth. I don't know if she likes me or not. My MaMaFigure and That Man say she will have to get used to us, plus she has some girl-pug thing going on called "inheat". Whatever. All I want to do is play with her! I am not smiling in this picture because I am a little bewildered and I have lost all my baby teeth and My MaMaFigure says I have an old man mouth. But she says I am still her 'Pug o' My Heart.
Here we are with The Grandboy and The Grandgirl. The Grandgirl calls her LuLu. I like it when we are on the porch swing. LuLu takes a nap and doesn't growl at me. My MaMaFigure says LuLu might be a little gripey because of the "inheat" thing, whatever that is. I wish she would just get over it so we could play with our New Blobs, her green bear, my Hamburger that I found hiding in the crate, and New Squirrel.
She is real sweet to My MaMaFigure and That Man. She smiles at them when she goes outside for a pee and a poop, except she won't pee and poop. I try to say, "Hey, LuLu! Look at me. This is how they want you to do it", but she doesn't pay attention to me. I showed her how to get in the shower and sit, but I don't think she likes it very much. I like to sit in the shower sometimes, but My MaMaFigure makes me get out. Then I showed her how to grab the dryer sheets and run when My MaMaFigure gets stuff out of the dryer, but she ignored me. After that, I showed her how I jump into the bathtub, but she acted like she didn't think that was fun either.
Well, that is all for now. I hope things settle down around here. That Man says the "inheat" thing will last for a couple more weeks. Until then, I will have to watch what I do because I get growled at.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean
P.S. I really do like my sister. She hasn't been all mean to me, we have played a little bit. I guess I am just used to being the Only Pug. I told her to write. She doesn't think she can but she will try. So, please, please, please, humor her and read her blog. I am begging you.

Hi from Lollipop Marie Pugsly

Mister Bean said I should write something about myself. He said to sit under My NewMaMaFigure's chair and all my thoughts would float up to her. I said, "No way!" and he said "Way!" So, I am sitting under My NewMaMaFigure's chair thinking thoughts.
I want to tell my First MaMaFigure and First That Man that I am okay and happy. I even got to ride on the porch swing yesterday. I have a lot to learn about peeing and pooping outside while I'm on the leash though. I just smile and wag my tail because I don't know why I'm out there.
My official name is Lollipop Marie Pugsly. I am registered, but I am not snobby about it. The little Grandgirl calls me LuLu. I have a double curl in my tail that I am real proud of.
I also have a cute underbite.
Well, I can't think of any more thoughts.
Love,
LuLu (a.k.a. Lollie, a.k.a. Lollipop Marie Pugsly)

Friday, April 17, 2009

A.P.B. on The Blob

I love playing with my toys. I really like the mouse that my Aunt JuJu gave me. It ran around and around on the kitchen floor and I chased it. See it's face? I chewed it up. My MaMaFigure said it was dangerous for me to play with it now, so she put it on top of the TV cabinet. See my Nylabone? I chewed little pieces off it and That Man was afraid I would get choked, so he put it on top of the TV cabinet with my mouse. I miss them. See Squeaky's leg and foot by my blue elephant? One night I chewed it off and I ran around and around That Man's chair with it hanging out of my mouth. That Man was yelling 'he's going to get choked!' and My MaMaFigure was yelling 'catch him, catch him!' They chased me around the chair, but I was fast! Finally, I stopped to plan my next move and My MaMaFigure caught me and stuck her finger in my mouth because That Man said I had swallowed Squeaky's foot. I fooled them! I dropped it on the other side of the chair! It was a fun and exciting night! That Man put Squeaky and his leg and foot on the TV cabinet with my mouse and my Nylabone and I miss him.
Here's a picture of me when I was real little. My MaMaFigure bought me A Blob. He always smiled at me no matter how hard I chewed him. He went missing two weeks ago. We can't find him anywhere and I don't know why he ran away. I wish he would come back.
My MaMaFigure got two beds for me with her CVS Bonus Bucks. They were real nice. I had one in the living room and one in the sewing room. I took naps on them and then one day I thought they looked very chewable. And they were. See the blue stuffing coming out of the sewing room bed? My MaMaFigure looked up from her sewing and she said I looked like a Smurf with a blue beard. She got up and came towards me and I ran out of the room with the blue stuffing hanging out of my mouth and down my chin. She caught me and took my stuffing away from me. She put my bed on the back porch. It was too big to put on the TV cabinet with my mouse, my Nylabone and Squeaky and Squeaky's leg and foot. The next day I chewed my living room bed and got blue stuffing all over the living room. Now it's on the back porch with my sewing room bed. I don't have a bed now. Or The Blob. I wish he would come back. I wonder why he ran away?
See my Blue Elephant? My Aunt JuJu got it for me on my very first day home. I love my Aunt JuJu. She and Uncle Fred are going to have a baby. I wonder if I will get to play with it? My Blue Elephant is on top of the TV cabinet with my mouse, my Nylabone and Squeaky and Squeaky's leg and foot because I chewed the stuffing out of it. And there are lots of threads sticking out of it. And I unraveled one of it's eyes. My MaMaFigure tried to sew it back on, but it is a little lop-sided.
Two weeks ago my MamaFigure got me a Pink Flamingo with her CVS Bonus Bucks. The next day I chewed the rope off and she had to sew it back on. Then I chewed off the black wing tip. My MaMaFigure sewed it back on, but I chewed it off again. That is the day that The Blob went missing. That Man forgets it is a Pink Flamingo and he calls it a Penguin. My MaMaFigure said he has always gotten them confused. You can really see Squeaky good in this picture. See the stuffing coming out of him? I miss him. The good thing about Squeaky was I could get a real good mouthful of him and squeak the squeaker. Those were good times.
My MaMaFigure stopped at Wal-Mart today and got me a New Blob. Here is a picture of me getting my chew on with New Blob. I like him and I think he likes me because he smiles at me just like Old Blob did.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Monday, April 6, 2009

Me and the Easter Bunny

I always look forward to fun and exciting weekends with My MamaFigure and That Man. So I was happy when I woke up and My MamaFigure said, "Mister Bean, we are going bye-bye today! You're going to Walmart to see the Easter Bunny!" I know what "bye-bye" is, because we go bye-bye all the time and Walmart is where My MamaFigure and That Man get chewy treats (my favorite) for me, but what is an Easter Bunny?

 I twirled around in circles and ran to the back door. I like to ride in That Man's big truck. I pretend I am a hunting dog. When we got to Walmart I barked at people in the parking lot. I barked at a woman in flip-flops. I barked at two little boys who barked back at me! I barked at a man smoking a cigarette. They smiled because they all thought I was cute. When we got inside I barked at people standing in a line. I could see their mouths saying "Oh, what a cute pug", and I know they wanted to pet me and make a fuss over over me, but My MamaFigure was carrying me and walking really, really fast.

 I thought I would get to see place where all the chewy treats (my favorite) are kept, but My MamaFigure was almost running by this time. I barked at a man looking at fish, I barked at a little girl holding a book, I barked at a woman picking up light bulbs. But, we were moving so fast I couldn't even see their mouths saying "oh, he's cute". Then I saw That Man and I barked at him and he told My MamaFigure the Easter Bunny was there. I had forgotten about the Easter Bunny. What is an Easter Bunny anyway?

Then I saw him.

And I stopped barking.

My MamaFigure handed me to this ginormous white bunny with big pink ears and he wasn't wearing anything but a big bow tie. Two ladies, one with a camera, took a picture of me sitting in this big bunny's lap. They were saying I was cute, but I couldn't act cute because I was scared. I didn't bark or move because I was afraid the Easter Bunny would bite me with his big teeth.
Look at my droopy ears. And look at the Easter Bunny's mean eyes. He was holding me in a death grip and he didn't talk or make any noise at all, which scared me even more.
And then That Man took a picture of me. By this time, I am willing to take my chances and I am looking for an escape route.





I was going to run into the tulip patch behind me, but My MamaFigure rescued me right before the Easter Bunny decided to eat me. I didn't bark until we got home. I was afraid he would hear me and come and get me.
The happy ending is that I got two extra chewy treats (my favorite) when we got home. Later, I heard my MamaFigure tell my Mamaw that the only way I got to go in Walmart was because she told them I am a therapy dog. She says I make her laugh and that is good therapy.
I hope I never have to see the Easter Bunny again or I will need therapy.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Worst Day of My Life

Yesterday was the worst day of my life. It has been raining, raining, raining. I wish it would stop. I don't like to go outside when it's raining, my feet feel funny when they are wet. Yesterday morning started out fine. I woke up happy, licked myself, then I got petted and me and My MamaFigure went to the back door so I could go outside for my morning pee and poop. I was stubborn when I saw the rain pouring down on the backyard. No way was I going out in that. Finally, My MamaFigure picked me up and carried me to the lawnmower shed. There is not a lot of room in the lawnmower shed. I walked around the big lawnmower, the two garden carts, the rakes (I knocked one over and it scared me), and other stuff That Man keeps in there. I finally made my morning pee, but I couldn't concentrate on making a poop. That kind of thing has to be walked out and there was no room to walk. My MamaFigure finally gave up and we went inside. She was in the kitchen and That Man was still in bed and I went to the living room to check out The Blob, Squeaky and my New Squirrel. I tried really hard to hold it in, but I just couldn't!! Afterwards, I went to the kitchen and I couldn't even look My MamaFigure in the eyes. The shame of it all! The rain was falling on the roof, it was really loud. I didn't hear That Man walking into the living room. Yes, I pooped in the living room and That Man stepped in it. The rest of the day is a blur. I didn't feel any love coming from That Man all day and when he was forced to say something to me or about me it wasn't in his "little buddy" voice. I am really sorry I pooped in the living room. It has been a long time since I did that,but it was raining and there is not a lot of room in the lawnmower shed to take care of business part two and besides, My MamaFigure cleaned it up really good, and I know it messed up your new house slipper, but the rain washed it away when My MamaFigure put it outside and I'm really sorry. My MamaFigure made the picture of me (above) and she told me to look really contrite. I think that meant for me to look pitiful and sorry and I hope I do because I want That Man to talk to me in his "little buddy" voice again and tomorrow My MamaFigure will have to go back to work and it will be just me and That Man in the house together and I don't want him to be mad at me because he stepped in my poop and messed up his house slipper.
Please forgive me That Man. I feel like what you stepped in.