Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Worst Day of My Life

Yesterday was the worst day of my life. It has been raining, raining, raining. I wish it would stop. I don't like to go outside when it's raining, my feet feel funny when they are wet. Yesterday morning started out fine. I woke up happy, licked myself, then I got petted and me and My MamaFigure went to the back door so I could go outside for my morning pee and poop. I was stubborn when I saw the rain pouring down on the backyard. No way was I going out in that. Finally, My MamaFigure picked me up and carried me to the lawnmower shed. There is not a lot of room in the lawnmower shed. I walked around the big lawnmower, the two garden carts, the rakes (I knocked one over and it scared me), and other stuff That Man keeps in there. I finally made my morning pee, but I couldn't concentrate on making a poop. That kind of thing has to be walked out and there was no room to walk. My MamaFigure finally gave up and we went inside. She was in the kitchen and That Man was still in bed and I went to the living room to check out The Blob, Squeaky and my New Squirrel. I tried really hard to hold it in, but I just couldn't!! Afterwards, I went to the kitchen and I couldn't even look My MamaFigure in the eyes. The shame of it all! The rain was falling on the roof, it was really loud. I didn't hear That Man walking into the living room. Yes, I pooped in the living room and That Man stepped in it. The rest of the day is a blur. I didn't feel any love coming from That Man all day and when he was forced to say something to me or about me it wasn't in his "little buddy" voice. I am really sorry I pooped in the living room. It has been a long time since I did that,but it was raining and there is not a lot of room in the lawnmower shed to take care of business part two and besides, My MamaFigure cleaned it up really good, and I know it messed up your new house slipper, but the rain washed it away when My MamaFigure put it outside and I'm really sorry. My MamaFigure made the picture of me (above) and she told me to look really contrite. I think that meant for me to look pitiful and sorry and I hope I do because I want That Man to talk to me in his "little buddy" voice again and tomorrow My MamaFigure will have to go back to work and it will be just me and That Man in the house together and I don't want him to be mad at me because he stepped in my poop and messed up his house slipper.
Please forgive me That Man. I feel like what you stepped in.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

My First Spring and a Special Poem

This is my first spring and boy! am I ever having a good time. Me and My MamaFigure and That Man spend a lot of time on the porch. Here is a picture of me looking cute on the porch swing. My MamaFigure makes us swing really high and sometimes I don't like it so I wiggle a lot and she puts the brakes on really fast. I can stand on the porch in safety and bark at squirrels and birds and dogs in the yard and cars going by and the wind blowing and the rain falling and the grass growing and the sun shining and the clouds moving and the temperature changing....
The cherry tree has pretty flowers under it and there is a tiny limb growing out of the trunk. I am having a very nice First Spring and it has inspired me to write a poem. It is my very first poem.
My First Poem About My First Spring-
by Mister Bean
I like to pee in fields of flowers.
I could pee for hours.
Just not during showers.
I like to poop in thickets of pine
Where the sun never shines
On the balsamine.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A Fun and Busy Week: Hog Heaven & Camping!

I have had a fun and busy week! My MaMaFigure and That Man take me lots of interesting places. My MamaFigure's brothers go to a place called Hog Heaven. They have lots of fun, so we decided to go there before we went on our camping trip. I didn't see a band or a dance floor, I didn't see one motorcycle or a biker chick, but it does have a sign. And it smells yummy!!!!!
This was the greeter at Hog Heaven. He met us at the gate; we don't speak donkey, but I think he was saying......
....."Stay outside the fence, and inside your MamaFigure's arms because these things will eat you alive if they catch you."
This was my last view of Hog Heaven. It was really cold that morning, and I was a little bit scared, but the smells were so delicious I could have stayed there a long long as My MamaFigure held me.

A Pug in the Wild: My Adventures in Camping Part One

Me, My MamaFigure, That Man, The Grandboy and The Grandgirl just got back from our three day camping trip. Now I know what camping is all about. It is one big, long walk. That Man told My MamaFigure that pugs are famous for short bursts of energy followed by long naps. I haven't had a nap since Tuesday. Here is a picture of me, smiling really, really big, with The Grandboy and The Grandgirl. This picture was taken early on Day One, so I really didn't know what was in store for me.
Me, The Grandboy and The Grandgirl scored big at the park's gift shop. I got a new stuffed squirrel. By this time, I am ready for a nap, but no nap was in sight. I couldn't even bother to tear my new squirrel out of the package.
Here is a picture of me faking a sniff at a a stump. I had to take a break, so I pretended to smell something. Once I was really getting into some fresh deer poop, but just when it was really getting interesting My MamaFigure pulled me away.
Here I am, at the end of Day One, wondering if the next two days will be be like today.

A Pug in the Wild: My Adventures in Camping Part Two

When I wasn't doing all that walking, I was entertaining guests at my campsite. These two girls dropped by to see me Thursday. This one was so happy to see me that she jumped in the air!
We don't understand why our humans like to do all that walking.

A Pug in the Wild: My Adventures in Camping Part Three

We men bonded on this trip. Here's a picture of me, The Grandboy and That Man walking together discussing manly camping stuff.
But, by the end of the trip, I was the only one who truly became one with Nature.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It's Deja Vue All Over Again!

I was 4 months old yesterday and today My MamaFigure and That Man took me back to my doctor to get more shots and to take a pill and to make sure my poop is still healthy. Here is a picture of me sitting on the big metal tray, looking cute, but a little worried. I've been here before and I know what's going to happen.
First, I get my poop checked. This could make a little pug feel violated, but Marie is very nice and she talks to me and pets me and gives me medicine disguised as chewy treats. Today she cut my toenails and I squeaked a little bit, like my MamaFigure and That Man do when I hop on them and scrape them with my razor sharp toes.
And then Dr. Wilke gave me 2 shots. They didn't hurt at all! He is nice too and he likes me and I like him and we are pals!! I was sniffing the broken up chunks of crunchy treats on the tray. I didn't eat them because I like chewy treats. They're my favorite! Well, unless the crunchy treats are graham crackers or vanilla wafers or Cheerios.
Today was a good day. I weigh 9 pounds and 4 ounces, I have healthy poop, I got a blue tag to wear on my collar (it looks good on me, and I feel like I'm in a club), my toenails won't make My MamaFigure and That Man squeak anymore and Dr. Wilke says I am a good-looking pug! My MamaFigure has always told me I'm cute, and That Man thinks so, but he won't tell me.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I am a Confused Pug

My MamaFigure and That Man, along with The Grandboy and The Grandgirl, are all jazzed about next week being Spring Break. They are going camping and I am going too. My MamaFigure and That Man opened up their camper today and I got to go inside.
Here is a picture of me looking cute and a little confused because when I got inside the camper I began having flashbacks about The Hole.
I heard My MamaFigure tell That Man we would need to take my food, water, chewy treats (my favorite), toys, brush, toothbrush, toothpaste, new gangsta jacket, new sweater and.....THE HOLE!!! How can this be fun? The camper looks like a Big Hole, and all five of us will be squashed in there together, just like me and The Blob when we are in The Hole together while My MamaFigure and That Man go get chewy treats (my favorite) for me.
Will someone please tell me how camping works? How can staying in The Hole while inside another, even bigger, Hole be fun?