Tuesday, April 28, 2009

New Treats, LuLu's Diaper and Robbers!!

There is a lot going on here at Casa de Beano. (Sister LuLu wants to call our home Chez LuLu. More about that later.) Anyway, fun and exciting things are happening here! We have been getting a new treat! We still get chewy treats (my favorite) for our daytime pees and poops, but when we come in from our darktime pee and poop My MaMaFigure says to us "Do ya'll want a cookie?" and I am all over it like ugly on an ape. Sister LuLu just looks up and smiles with her underbite teeth showing. Here are pictures of us about to get our darktime pee and poop treat.
I go totally nuts.
Sister LuLu is still 'inheat' and she wears a diaper all day, except for when we go out to pee. It has to be taped on with duct tape after 3 or 4 pee-pees. It doesn't look very good on her after that. My MaMaFigure says she will have to stop and get more diapers on her way home from her work. I hope she gets me some sunglasses. Sister LuLu stinks a little bit, well, actually she stinks a lot. My MaMaFigure and That Man say they will be glad when the 'inheat' goes away. So will I. She still won't play New Blobs or Pink Flamingo or New Squirrel with me.
I wrote a poem about her. Here it is.
LuLu's Diaper
by Mister Bean
Dear Little LuLu, stinky sister of mine,
when your diaper stops sticking duct tape works fine.
The End
There have been a lot of shady-looking dogs hanging around our house for the past few days. The Grandgirl and The Grandboy came to visit us after school yesterday and when the Grandgirl was walking Sister LuLu a beagle was standing in the driveway. We don't know him. And later, he was back with a Chihuahua. We don't know him either. And a curly-haired dog was standing under the bedroom window last night when we went to bed. We've never seen him before! I think I know why all these dogs are hanging around our house.
They want to rob us.
They found out about our new treats and our New Blobs. I hope That Man has some kind of plan to protect us because when the you-know-what hits the fan, I'm hiding under the bed.
Here is a picture of Sister LuLu. She'll never get a boyfriend if she doesn't stop wearing duct-tape diapers and start fixing herself up a little bit. She barks real funny too. My MaMaFigure says if Sister LuLu could talk she would say "Hey doll, here's a five, will you run to the Golden Gallon and get a pack of unfiltered Camels for me?"
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Monday, April 20, 2009

Vote for me, Mister Bean!!!!

Something fun and exciting has happened at Casa de Beano! My blog has been nominated as Best Peg Blog at blognetawards.net Vote for me, Mister Bean!!! I can't give you a stimulus package if I win, because My MaMaFigure and That Man are saving up to have me "fixed". I don't know what "fixed" means. I would rather have sunglasses to wear with my new T-shirt. I'm wearing it in the picture. It says stuff like Supa Star, Woof Woof, and Dogz Rule. I promise if I win I will be the Best Pet Blogger forever. I will tell you about how me and my sister like to watch the toilet flush together and about the haunted doghouse behind the lawnmower shed. My MaMaFigure says if you want to vote for me go to blognetawards.com and you will see the name of my blog in a list on the right. It is almost at the bottom. Oh, she almost forgot...you have to register first. Then you can find my name on the list. Then click on my blog name and you should see a real nice description of my blog. Thank you for saying nice things about it!!! At the bottom of the description you will see 10 stars. If you like my blog a lot, then click on the last star on the right! Awesome!! You can leave a comment too! By the way, your last day to vote is April 30th. Thank you for voting me me, Mister Bean!!!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Shazam! I have a sister!!

Yesterday morning My MaMaFigure said 'We're going on a special bye-bye Mister Bean!" I was ready for another fun and exciting weekend with My MaMaFigure and That Man. My MaMaFigure said we were going to get me a sister. What is a sister? We had to drive a long ways to a place called Chickamauga Battlefield. I pooped when I got there and MyMaMaFigure felt real bad about it too, and so did That Man. I couldnt' help it. Well, in a few minutes a pug almost like me got out of a car and My MaMaFigure said, "There's your sister, Mister Bean!" She is real small. Smaller than me, even. We sniffed each other and after a little while she got in the truck with us. My MaMaFigure sat in the back seat with us and my sister growled at me and I climbed My MaMaFigure like she was a tree and sat on the back of the seat. I was scared.
Here is a picture of me with my sister. She has a green stuffed bear. And she snores. She eats a lot too. And she has lots of teeth. I don't know if she likes me or not. My MaMaFigure and That Man say she will have to get used to us, plus she has some girl-pug thing going on called "inheat". Whatever. All I want to do is play with her! I am not smiling in this picture because I am a little bewildered and I have lost all my baby teeth and My MaMaFigure says I have an old man mouth. But she says I am still her 'Pug o' My Heart.
Here we are with The Grandboy and The Grandgirl. The Grandgirl calls her LuLu. I like it when we are on the porch swing. LuLu takes a nap and doesn't growl at me. My MaMaFigure says LuLu might be a little gripey because of the "inheat" thing, whatever that is. I wish she would just get over it so we could play with our New Blobs, her green bear, my Hamburger that I found hiding in the crate, and New Squirrel.
She is real sweet to My MaMaFigure and That Man. She smiles at them when she goes outside for a pee and a poop, except she won't pee and poop. I try to say, "Hey, LuLu! Look at me. This is how they want you to do it", but she doesn't pay attention to me. I showed her how to get in the shower and sit, but I don't think she likes it very much. I like to sit in the shower sometimes, but My MaMaFigure makes me get out. Then I showed her how to grab the dryer sheets and run when My MaMaFigure gets stuff out of the dryer, but she ignored me. After that, I showed her how I jump into the bathtub, but she acted like she didn't think that was fun either.
Well, that is all for now. I hope things settle down around here. That Man says the "inheat" thing will last for a couple more weeks. Until then, I will have to watch what I do because I get growled at.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean
P.S. I really do like my sister. She hasn't been all mean to me, we have played a little bit. I guess I am just used to being the Only Pug. I told her to write. She doesn't think she can but she will try. So, please, please, please, humor her and read her blog. I am begging you.

Hi from Lollipop Marie Pugsly

Mister Bean said I should write something about myself. He said to sit under My NewMaMaFigure's chair and all my thoughts would float up to her. I said, "No way!" and he said "Way!" So, I am sitting under My NewMaMaFigure's chair thinking thoughts.
I want to tell my First MaMaFigure and First That Man that I am okay and happy. I even got to ride on the porch swing yesterday. I have a lot to learn about peeing and pooping outside while I'm on the leash though. I just smile and wag my tail because I don't know why I'm out there.
My official name is Lollipop Marie Pugsly. I am registered, but I am not snobby about it. The little Grandgirl calls me LuLu. I have a double curl in my tail that I am real proud of.
I also have a cute underbite.
Well, I can't think of any more thoughts.
Love,
LuLu (a.k.a. Lollie, a.k.a. Lollipop Marie Pugsly)

Friday, April 17, 2009

A.P.B. on The Blob

I love playing with my toys. I really like the mouse that my Aunt JuJu gave me. It ran around and around on the kitchen floor and I chased it. See it's face? I chewed it up. My MaMaFigure said it was dangerous for me to play with it now, so she put it on top of the TV cabinet. See my Nylabone? I chewed little pieces off it and That Man was afraid I would get choked, so he put it on top of the TV cabinet with my mouse. I miss them. See Squeaky's leg and foot by my blue elephant? One night I chewed it off and I ran around and around That Man's chair with it hanging out of my mouth. That Man was yelling 'he's going to get choked!' and My MaMaFigure was yelling 'catch him, catch him!' They chased me around the chair, but I was fast! Finally, I stopped to plan my next move and My MaMaFigure caught me and stuck her finger in my mouth because That Man said I had swallowed Squeaky's foot. I fooled them! I dropped it on the other side of the chair! It was a fun and exciting night! That Man put Squeaky and his leg and foot on the TV cabinet with my mouse and my Nylabone and I miss him.
Here's a picture of me when I was real little. My MaMaFigure bought me A Blob. He always smiled at me no matter how hard I chewed him. He went missing two weeks ago. We can't find him anywhere and I don't know why he ran away. I wish he would come back.
My MaMaFigure got two beds for me with her CVS Bonus Bucks. They were real nice. I had one in the living room and one in the sewing room. I took naps on them and then one day I thought they looked very chewable. And they were. See the blue stuffing coming out of the sewing room bed? My MaMaFigure looked up from her sewing and she said I looked like a Smurf with a blue beard. She got up and came towards me and I ran out of the room with the blue stuffing hanging out of my mouth and down my chin. She caught me and took my stuffing away from me. She put my bed on the back porch. It was too big to put on the TV cabinet with my mouse, my Nylabone and Squeaky and Squeaky's leg and foot. The next day I chewed my living room bed and got blue stuffing all over the living room. Now it's on the back porch with my sewing room bed. I don't have a bed now. Or The Blob. I wish he would come back. I wonder why he ran away?
See my Blue Elephant? My Aunt JuJu got it for me on my very first day home. I love my Aunt JuJu. She and Uncle Fred are going to have a baby. I wonder if I will get to play with it? My Blue Elephant is on top of the TV cabinet with my mouse, my Nylabone and Squeaky and Squeaky's leg and foot because I chewed the stuffing out of it. And there are lots of threads sticking out of it. And I unraveled one of it's eyes. My MaMaFigure tried to sew it back on, but it is a little lop-sided.
Two weeks ago my MamaFigure got me a Pink Flamingo with her CVS Bonus Bucks. The next day I chewed the rope off and she had to sew it back on. Then I chewed off the black wing tip. My MaMaFigure sewed it back on, but I chewed it off again. That is the day that The Blob went missing. That Man forgets it is a Pink Flamingo and he calls it a Penguin. My MaMaFigure said he has always gotten them confused. You can really see Squeaky good in this picture. See the stuffing coming out of him? I miss him. The good thing about Squeaky was I could get a real good mouthful of him and squeak the squeaker. Those were good times.
My MaMaFigure stopped at Wal-Mart today and got me a New Blob. Here is a picture of me getting my chew on with New Blob. I like him and I think he likes me because he smiles at me just like Old Blob did.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

Monday, April 6, 2009

Me and the Easter Bunny

I always look forward to fun and exciting weekends with My MamaFigure and That Man. So I was happy when I woke up and My MamaFigure said, "Mister Bean, we are going bye-bye today! You're going to Walmart to see the Easter Bunny!" I know what "bye-bye" is, because we go bye-bye all the time and Walmart is where My MamaFigure and That Man get chewy treats (my favorite) for me, but what is an Easter Bunny?

 I twirled around in circles and ran to the back door. I like to ride in That Man's big truck. I pretend I am a hunting dog. When we got to Walmart I barked at people in the parking lot. I barked at a woman in flip-flops. I barked at two little boys who barked back at me! I barked at a man smoking a cigarette. They smiled because they all thought I was cute. When we got inside I barked at people standing in a line. I could see their mouths saying "Oh, what a cute pug", and I know they wanted to pet me and make a fuss over over me, but My MamaFigure was carrying me and walking really, really fast.

 I thought I would get to see place where all the chewy treats (my favorite) are kept, but My MamaFigure was almost running by this time. I barked at a man looking at fish, I barked at a little girl holding a book, I barked at a woman picking up light bulbs. But, we were moving so fast I couldn't even see their mouths saying "oh, he's cute". Then I saw That Man and I barked at him and he told My MamaFigure the Easter Bunny was there. I had forgotten about the Easter Bunny. What is an Easter Bunny anyway?

Then I saw him.

And I stopped barking.

My MamaFigure handed me to this ginormous white bunny with big pink ears and he wasn't wearing anything but a big bow tie. Two ladies, one with a camera, took a picture of me sitting in this big bunny's lap. They were saying I was cute, but I couldn't act cute because I was scared. I didn't bark or move because I was afraid the Easter Bunny would bite me with his big teeth.
Look at my droopy ears. And look at the Easter Bunny's mean eyes. He was holding me in a death grip and he didn't talk or make any noise at all, which scared me even more.
And then That Man took a picture of me. By this time, I am willing to take my chances and I am looking for an escape route.





I was going to run into the tulip patch behind me, but My MamaFigure rescued me right before the Easter Bunny decided to eat me. I didn't bark until we got home. I was afraid he would hear me and come and get me.
The happy ending is that I got two extra chewy treats (my favorite) when we got home. Later, I heard my MamaFigure tell my Mamaw that the only way I got to go in Walmart was because she told them I am a therapy dog. She says I make her laugh and that is good therapy.
I hope I never have to see the Easter Bunny again or I will need therapy.