Another Night We'll Never Forget

My MamaFigure has lost her mind again! It happens every year when Leaves Fall on the Big Porch! You can read about it  here: http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7121425533243046834#editor/target=post;postID=8160454732157979268

and here: http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7121425533243046834#editor/target=post;postID=1824253351010700277

Me and LuLu are still wondering what this is all about! By now we know that My MaMafigure is going to put clothes on us, we will stay on the Big Porch until after dark, strange things come to our house and My MaMaFigure and That Man will give them candy! But we still don’t know why!

Sure enough, tonight came and my MaMaFigure and That Man put lights all over the Big Porch while me and LuLu sat on the moving chair at the other end of the porch licking our feet. We heard That Man ask my MamaFigure when she was going to put our clothes on us and what they were.  My MamaFigure said "Now, a uniform."  LuLu got excited! LuLu doesn’t like to wear clothes or take baths, but she said she would wear a uniform!  She said this reminded her of the old days when she worked at a big house in a place called D.C. We don’t know much about LuLu’s past, but she didn’t even run under the bed or the dining room table when My MaMaFigure took our new uniforms out of the bag! We felt important!  LuLu said we were going to be Acting in an Official Capacity!

 I was hoping I’d get a new space pug uniform, because I always want to communicate with all the space pugs that are circling the planet. I knew if they saw me in an Official Uniform they would want to make me their leader! I thought LuLu was going to cry!   My Official Uniform was black and white and I stood at attention when my MamaFigure put it on me.

Here is a picture of me in my Official Uniform. I look pretty good in this picture.

Then LuLu stood at attention while she got dressed in her Official Uniform! She said Bean, look! my uniform even has a helmet! And sure enough! There was a big gold official-looking pointy thing on LuLu’s helmet! I told LuLu she looked official and she was proud!

LuLu in her uniform. She liked her fancy helmet with the gold official-looking pointy thing on it.

Then I noticed something on the bottom of my uniform! I didn’t know what it was, or what I was supposed to do with it! So, I asked LuLu, because LuLu knows everything…she can speak French, she understands aerodynamics and conspiracy theories, she knows how to use the remote control to watch Animal Planet….and sure enough! She knew exactly what the things were! She said they were jet packs! She said I would be able to fly in my Official Uniform and the space pugs would see me! 

The jet packs are underneath my uniform.

And then I noticed LuLu had wings on her Official Uniform! LuLu has always wanted to fly! She wants a tattoo that says ‘When thrust is greater than drag, things fly’!

Then LuLu said she had an epiphany! I said hide it under the leaves on the Big Porch before That Man sees it!  LuLu said we were to do Official Flyovers in our Official Uniforms while all the strange creatures came to our house to get candy!  

Then I had an epiphany too! I said our Official Code names would be Eagle and Hawk! I'm Eagle!

Then all of the strange things started coming to the Big Porch, and they always said trick or treat to That Man and My MaMaFigure.  We saw a little girl in a bonnet and long dress and she was with a big rooster!

 Both of us jumped onto the moving chair while That Man gave candy to the bonnet girl and rooster.   Then Hawk barked the order to fly!  For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing happened some more.  Me and Hawk sat there, wanting to do an Official Flyover for a railroad engineer, a little girl in a little red riding hood and a cowboy, but my jet pack didn’t work and Hawk’s wings didn’t move.

Here's Hawk (a.k.a LuLu). She is getting ready for a takeoff.

We tried again from That Man’s chair, but we never flew. Hawk thought the headwind was too great and was reducing our ground speed, therefore decreasing our chance for takeoff. I think My MaMafigure forgot to buy batteries for my jet pack.  



Every time a strange creature came to our house, we tried to do an Official Flyover, but failed. Then both of us realized that My MaMaFigure had been flim-flammed again. Our Official Uniforms didn’t work and we never got to do any Official Flyovers as Eagle and Hawk. Hawk said she is going to google ‘how to build a launch pad’ before Leaves Fall on the Porch next year.

Here I am, concentrating on my takeoff. I look pretty good in this picture.

Finally, the last strange creature came to our house. We were tired from jumping on and off the chairs and Hawk was hoarse from barking orders! She looked like a mess; the gold, official-looking pointy thing on her helmet got smashed when she crashed off That Man’s chair.

Hawk's Official Uniform is askew and the gold pointy thing on her helmet is mashed from an evening of crash landings.

 My jet packs came loose and were dragging the floor, and I never got to communicate with the space pugs, but I still think I looked pretty good in my Official Uniform.

Eagle.
My official portrait.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Sincerely,

Mister Bean