Me and LuLu have been real busy on the Big Porch. We bark at everything. Outside is very fun and exciting! We bark at the monsters next door (see previous post) and the big yellow stray dog that wants to come and live with us. We bark at the neighbor's chickens. We bark at the birds at the birdfeeder. We bark at the wind blowing. We bark at the sun shining. That Man says "Shut UP!" but we keep barking. It's our job.
Yesterday we were on the Big Porch, taking a break and licking our feet, when we heard My MaMaFigure and That Man talking. They were talking about My MaMaFigure going away. I got all in a wad and couldn't listen because My MaMaFigure has never been away from me and I will miss her. But LuLu listened and gave this report:
"MaMaFigure will be gone with her Church Lady Friends for One Day, One Night and Another Day and then she will come home."
I am already missing her and she hasn't even left. And then LuLu says this:
"That Man will be in total charge of us while MaMaFigure is gone. This means we will not be getting many treats."
LuLu is right. My MaMaFigure gives us a treat before we pee, after we pee, after we poop, when we get to the steps, when we walk in the door and when she takes our leashes off of us.
She also gives us treats when we swing with her on the Big Porch, when she gets home from her Job, and after she and That Man get home from buying more treats, and because we are cute and just because she loves us. She likes to give treats to us.
That Man tosses us half a treat when we come in from peeing. He says we are going to go broke because My MaMaFigure gives us so many treats. My MaMaFigure just laughs and gives us another treat. LuLu says we won't be getting any poop treats, Big Porch treats or We're Cute treats for One Day, One Night and Another Day.
This is our morning treat. My MaMaFigure feeds us one Cheerio at a time while she is eating her cereal. We get real excited when it is Cheerio time! I spin 'round and 'round in circles and My MaMaFigure says I am going to turn into butter! That Man just shakes his head. LuLu says we won't be getting any Cheerios for One Day, One Night and Another Day.
This is our Extra Special After Bath Treat!!! We run to the kitchen after our baths and wait at the refrigerator for My MaMaFigure to open the door and get these out!!! We bark and I spin 'round and 'round again! I get so excited! And sometimes me and LuLu get in a fight!! LuLu always wins and My MaMaFigure has to scold her. LuLu doesn't like to take baths or wear clothes, but she likes our Extra Special After Bath Treat!! All My MaMaFigure has to do is say "baby carrots" and we go nuts!!! LuLu says we won't be getting any Extra Special After Bath Treats because it will be Another Day and My MaMaFigure will still be gone.
Here is a picture of me. I am wishing My MaMaFigure would stay home, but I still look pretty good in this picture. I will miss My MaMaFigure for One Day, One Night and Another Day.
This is LuLu. She says if she doesn't get a treat after two pees she is going to poop in That Man's shoes.
This is a closeup of LuLu. She says My MaMaFigure should develop a Pug Treat Schedule app for her iPhone and send it to That Man while she is gone for One Day, One Night and Another Day.
Here is another good picture of me. I am going to miss My MaMaFigure so much. LuLu says to look imploringly at her and maybe she won't go away with her Church Lady Friends. She says if it doesn't work on her to look imploringly at That Man and maybe he will give us all of our treats for One Day, One Night and Another Day.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean
