MB, SuperPug!!

This is MB SuperPug! Along with my trusty sidekick Secret SuperAgent uLuL, we patrol the planet Big Porch each evening, securing the boundaries from squirrels, chipmunks, circus clowns, hummingbirds, grain silos, teenage bicycle riders, bunny rabbits, falling leaves, ants, the hummingbird feeder, decorative flags, petunias and visitors.

Using my Laser Pug-O-Vision SuperPower, I locate possible marauders in the Far-Away Woods surrounding planet Big Porch! Alerting Secret SuperAgent uLuL with my Powerful SuperBark, she immediately runs the length of planet Big Porch, daring intruders to enter!!!

MB, SuperPug activating his Laser Pug-O-Vision SuperPower!!!

Oh no!!! My arch nemesis, The Fly Swat (being transported by That Man Zombie), is challenging my Laser Pug-O-Vision SuperPower ability! That Man Zombie, prompted by The Fly Swat, tells me in a mean zombie voice "You don't see anything out there! Shut up!" Unafraid, I continue my PowerFul SuperBark, as my Laser Pug-O-Vision zones in on a tiny, almost invisible caterpillar in the Far-Away Woods.

Secret SuperAgent uLuL bravely continues to patrol the porch.  The Fly Swat then turns That Man Zombie around and goes towards Secret SuperAgent uLuL!! "Shutup!" Fly Swat directs That Man Zombie to say in a fierce zombie voice!!

Super SecretAgent uLuL squats, threatening to unleash her Secret Weapon...A MegaPoop!!! "Curses!" says Fly Swat, voiced by That Man Zombie. Defeated, Fly Swat releases That Man from being a zombie and retires to its hideout, a nail behind That Man's chair, to plot it's next threat against me and Secret SuperAgent uLuL as we continue our mission to keep planet Big Porch a safe and secure place to spend the evening.

Secret SuperAgent uLuL. She doesn't have any SuperPowers like I do, but she has a Secret Weapon.

Me and Secret Agent uLuL jump into the moving chair and survey planet Big Porch. I think I look pretty good in this picture, and humble too. No one would ever suspect that I am MB, SuperPug, with Laser Pug-O-Vision and the Powerful SuperBark!! Secret SuperAgent uLuL contained her Secret Weapon for our next mission.

Mission accomplished.


Thank you for reading my blog.
Sincerely,
Mister Bean

America's Sweetheart

Me and LuLu spend a lot of time on the Big Porch now. It is warm outside and My MamaFigure and That Man sit on the porch or work in the garden while me and LuLu bark and lick our feet. We talk about the best place to take a nap, the best place to take a poop, our favorite treat (baby carrots), where does My MamaFigure go almost every morning wearing nice shoes and how does That Man make food without dropping it on the kitchen floor.

Most of the time LuLu likes to talk about Being a Famous Aviator. But now she says she is going to put her Famous Aviator plans on hold because she now wants to be something else.

LuLu says she wants to be America's Sweetheart.

I have been wondering why LuLu has been so nice the last few days.  That Man says LuLu would have made a great prison matron. So, LuLu has been practicing Being America's Sweetheart so when the America's Sweetheart Contest comes to town she will be ready.

Now when My MamaFigure and That Man ask her if she needs to go pee-pee, she runs to the back door and looks at them with big round eyes and she shows her underbite. She calls it The Look, and she says it is her talent for the America's Sweetheart competition. She says with The Look she should also win the title of Miss Congeniality.  My MamaFigure says LuLu is adorable.  Also, when our cousin Shorty comes down to check out our poops in the woods behind our house, LuLu no longer barks ferociously at him.  Instead, she says "Happy Sniffing" to Shorty and gives him The Look.

Here is a picture of LuLu's The Look. She says her underbite shows her vulnerability and her round eyes express tenderness. She says vulnerability and tenderness are the hallmarks of being America's Sweetheart.

The Look

Last night LuLu messed up her America's Sweetheart practice. She says she didn't have any excuse for her behavior; she says her canine instinct took over.

The old LuLu. Her motto was
"Get outta my way before I knock you into next week!"

My MamaFigure was lying back in her recliner, watching American Idol.  Me and LuLu were in her lap, because that is what we were bred to do and That Man won't let us in his new chair, so we always  sit with My MamaFigure. LuLu said to please (she says please and thank you now) wake her up if she started snoring, because snoring isn't acceptable behavior for an America's Sweetheart contestant.  LuLu started snoring when Scotty began singing She Believes in Me. I was a little bit scared to wake LuLu up! But she got louder and louder!! And I made her a promise!! Finally, I moved my paw to her paw and touched it, hoping LuLu would stop snoring, but LuLu woke up and she went berserk!!!!

Vote LuLu Nelson for America's Sweetheart!!

She started barking and she ran all over My MamaFigure.  My MamaFigure couldn't move!!! She didn't know what LuLu was going to do next!! Then, she climbed over My MamaFigure and stood on the top of the recliner with her front paws digging into My MamaFigure's head!! Lauren Alaina was singing I Hope You Dance and My MamaFigure's arms and legs were flailing everywhere and she was yelling "Lulu!! LuLu!!" That Man was eating potato chips (I begged for some, but he didn't pay any attention to me). When he saw My MamaFigure flailing he made a noise and all the chips came out of his mouth in a spray. I jumped off My MamaFigure's lap just in time and caught the chips in mid-air!! I was awesome and it was fun!!! 

Finally, My MamaFigure was able to move and she sat up in the recliner.  She sat up so fast that it tipped foward and My MamaFigure slid onto the floor.  LuLu slid down from the top of the recliner and landed behind My MamaFigure. She says at that moment she realized she wasn't behaving like America's Sweetheart, so when My MamaFigure turned around, LuLu immediately gave her The Look. 

LuLu says she will continue her America's Sweetheart practice tomorrow.

My MamaFigure laughed at LuLu. LuLu says this proves that The Look will make her a Force to Be Reckoned With when she enters the America's Sweetheart contest.

Here is a picture of me on the Big Porch. I think I look pretty good in this picture.   

Thank you for reading my blog.

Sincerely,

Mister Bean